I was
Inspired to put a blog online again after many many years.
Extremely sick. Food-poisoned.
Crying out of loud (my ribs ended up hurting so much).
Cared and loved.
Excited, Inspired, Restless.
Relieved and worried.
Food-poisoned again (my stomach won’t let me in peace).
Bitten by dozen of mosquitoes every day.
Captain America. And then Spider Man. And sometimes Hulk.
Exhausted after 22 hours of flight. No idea what time, which day, and what temperature it was.
Enjoying summer.
Happy to meet so many people again.
Happy to be accepted as I am.
Politically revolted.
Feeling apocalyptic after Trump’s victory.

I heard
Lots of crickets at night.
A fancy car alarm tune.

“I am the guru of the dick now”

“Aggression is instinctive, it is the response to hostility. When something agresses you or you feel fear you feel aggression, it is like a natural reaction of defense. Now when you add values to that aggressiveness, it becomes violence.”

“Did you come with your german boyfriend?”
“On me everything looks good”

Cuba was the best experience in my life. There I learnt everything I know right now.
Do you wanna come back?
Yes! but I have children now.

The chipping of some birds in Buenos Aires (don’t know which). I never hear these birds in Berlin. They put me in a good mood.

Gaby’s neighbors fighting almost every day. The guy yelling at a woman with a extremely high pitched voice. She doesn’t say much.
The sound of the rain on the tin roof.
The fan noise (and instantly falling asleep).
“I never had a feeling of vulnerability like this, of not feeling safe anywhere”
“The reason what they vote him is the same reason of why they are giving a like in facebook”
“First night in the hometown and you are usually thinking: what the hell I am doing here”.
“My dog is named Simona in honor of Simone Weil
“I am gonna miss you a lot my friend. Thanks for everything and we see each other on my return”.
“Look, if you die the same day you were born.. (on the street, couldn’t hear the end!!!!!!!!)
“Do you know what fills me with pride? That you are getting ahead without having to ask favors to anyone (on the street)
“The human being is very evil. For my taste, very nonconformist”(on the street)
“Every flower fragance has a smell of shit in it. When you are making a jazmin perfume, you will need something sweet, something that smells like (…) and something that smells like shit, which is actually not shit, its earthy, and every flower needs an earthy ingredient.. but the earthy fragrance does smell like shit. Isn’t it funny that all the nice smells include a really disgusting smell in them?”

“Just because there is not a war it doesn’t mean there’s peace”

– Grandma, how do you drink mate?
– Well… with a bombilla..
(my grandma, when I ask her how she usually drink mate when I was preparing one for her)

“I met Rosita. I told her: How good is that we meet in a party because we the old people usually meet in the wakes” (my grandma, when she met my other grandma in a party)
“I was really looking forward to talking more with you”
“Why eating meat is not a choice and not eating meat it is?
“Do not worry: occupy yourself” (in spanish sounds better as it was a game of words)
“Form is temporary but stupidity is permanent”
“I’m very happy to see you. I ended up very late from work and I was tired but I said “I go” because I really wanted to see you. I’m really touched, I love you so much”

Books that people recommended me
“Masculine Domination” — Pierre Bourdieu.
“Masculinidades incómodas: jóvenes, género y pobreza” — Néstor Artiñano.
“Rebeldes y Confabulados”. — Dardo Escavino.
“La condición obrera” — Simone Weil

I did..
Get rid of my woolen socks as soon as I landed in Sao Paulo.
Wear lots of summer clothes.
Spend really little time in front of the computer.
Play TEG Stopped reading news and avoided my facebook feed after Trump’s victory.
Wear a mustache.
Play with my nephew and niece. We made lots of bubbles, play soccer, were superpeople, solved puzzles, danced and sang songs.
Paint on ceramic cups.
Carve a really small penis out of a banana.
Laugh at my fathers jokes.
Decide not to pay a debt.
Sleep many nights at my mum’s. This is probably the first time I decide to sleep there since I moved out when I was 18.
Steal fruits from my grandparents neighbours.
Team-up with Gaby to prepare games for my sisters bachelorette’s party. The games were awesome!
Vomit 5 times during a night.

Knock the wall and call for my mother when I was vomiting so much that I couldnt hold myself in front of the toilet anymore. She was on the other side of the door waiting for my call. She hold my hair when I bent down many times and gave me a blanket when I was freezing afterwards. She gave me water to drink and put me to bed afterwards. I thought there were at least 25 years since the last time we went through this together and at least 15 years since the last time I called her for help.

Carry a lot of beer bottles.
Hit my head really strong in the brim of a metal door.
Spent as much time as I could with my grandparents. I loved being able to cook for them, put my grandma’s feet in salty water, listen to all their stories, over and over again.. find out that my grandma has a precious sense of humor.. to take pictures of them… to listen which was my grandpa’s experience during Argentina’s last dictatorship.
Not sleep one night. Too restless. Too inspired. Too hot.
Meet a lot of people. Many people I wanted to meet and many people that some people wanted to introduced me to.
Drank many black beers.
Hug a lot of people.
Get emotional.
Meditate twice the whole month.
Took pictures with an analog camera.
Ate reviro.
Grilled vegetables. Drank many many mojitos.
Travel too many hours.

I did…, although it was a bad idea
Eat a lot of flour, eggs and cheese.
Drink tap water.

Music that found me
Sia – Chandelier
Viento Sur – Muerdo
Buena Vista Social Club
Orquesta Popular San Bomba
La Delio Valdez
Julieta Venegas & Marisa Monte – Ilusión
Las Taradas
Miss Bolivia
Soha – Mil Pasos
Imany – Don’t Be So Shy
Paula Fernandes, Victor & Leo – Não Precisa
Maximiliano – rap improvisado (in the underground)

I said
“I love you!”
“Last night I had an erotic dream with you.. but I will keep it for myself.”
“I miss you”
“How good is to see you again!”
“Contrasexual Manifest is one of the best books I read in my life. Its probably in the top three along with What Does It Mean To Be White and King Kong Theory and also The Ethical Slut”.
“Come and visit me soon!”

Random thoughts
“How, once we learn certain economic structures and behaviors in our life, we keep repeating them to all places we go. The only thing that changes is the context, not the mindset”.
“Fear and aversion are the worst reactions that can come up to a series of dreadful events” (Trump’s election, Brexit, Macri’s presidential win, Ferdinand Marcos’ reburial as hero, etc).
“Everything will be alright”.

I saw
A young window cleaner offering to return money to a driver at a stoplight because the driver seemed to be dissatisfied with the cleaning. The driver made a gesture of disdain with his hand and drove away.

Things I read
“Goodbye Andy”
“Master de lxs Masters.. Teacher de lxs Teachers.. Yes de lxs Yes” (a welcome sign for me at the airport)
“It’s Trump”.
That the current Philippines government want to bury dictator Ferdinand Marcos in the National Heroes Cemetery..
“I totally understand that you are having time with your family and friends but you should be able to take a day off to sleep with me”.
“This is incredibly beautiful. Thank you very much.”
“What a beautiful surprise!!! Its a joy to read you, Cy. Its really a shame that after so many years you are all together and we are not there. Your uncle’s brother is very ill. Everything is very sad. Your words are a caress to the soul. A very big kiss.”
“They should concentrate on exhaling, like the cow that exhales while mooing. Concentrating on inspiration will weaken you. You’ll catch a cold. When you cry, you inspire. When one is happy, when one laughs, one concentrates in the exhalation. Thanks to this method you can control your spirit. Concentrate on exhalation when you are sad or feel weak. This will change your state of mind.”

I cooked
A soup.
Many salads.
Fruit salad.
Filled zucchini.
Many more things that I forgot.

  • Chipas
  • Delicious food