This happened in 2011 and now it’s old. But I love migrating this story to whatever blog I have.


Driving around Monterrey, Mexico. Taxi driver looking at me through the mirror couple of times until I look at him while he’s doing it. He does it couple of more times, getting slightly embarrased when I catch him.

taxi driver

I mean, it’s not that I want to be rude or anything.. I don’t usually watch like this to people. but when you stepped into the car I really thought you were a guy…
(silence)

me

and now?

taxi driver

I don’t think that anymore. but you know? no offense.

me

it’s not an offense

(silence for couple of minutes)

me

what makes you think I am not a guy?

taxi driver

your voice… your lips. you don’t have facial hair..

me

I have hormonal problems.

taxi driver

Oh.. you know.. I didn’t want to offend you.

me

why do you think it’s so important to know whether someone is a man or a woman?

taxi driver

It’s different treatment. with a woman you are always more gentle.

me

what for?

taxi driver

well.. she’s a lady.

me

not all of them. some men are ladies too (I laugh)

he laughes too.

taxi driver

of course, but I don’t want to sleep with them.

me

So do you treat women as ladies because you want to sleep with them? (I laugh)

taxi driver

I mean.. not always. but with women you have to be a gentleman.

me

well, you have to be a gentleman, women have to be nice and friendly. and they smile at you when you talk

taxi driver

not always.. (smiles)

me

women cannot open their legs when they are seated, they cannot fart in public, if they scream out loud they are crazy bitches, they don’t make noise, they wear sexy clothes and they always shave and have nice smells.

taxi driver

this is what makes them very feminine, this is why we are crazy about them.

me

who told you that shit?

taxi driver

you don’t like feminine women? (looking outside the window)

me

I love women, but I think that feminine thing is very much invented. like the gentleman.. like the macho! (I make a gesture with my muscled arm)

(he is thinking something to say)

me

you check whether I am a man or woman to know if you need to treat me nice or normal, in order to see how many chances you have to pick me up.

(he laughs)

me

I think that’s all very much invented.

(he looks at me in the mirror again)

me

I know what you are thinking, you think I’m gay.

taxi driver

I cannot think something else, man.. sorry (he makes a gesture of irony)

me

I am gay. I love women.

(he laughs)

me

look, when you think in a really beautiful woman. let’s say you are masturbating and imagining the hottest woman.. what do you see? somebody like Pamela Anderson?

taxi driver

Megan Fox

me

Megan Fox.. ok. Dark hair, blue eyes, tall, well toned body, good abs, shaved legs, big red lips.. do you think that women are like this in ‘natural’ state?

taxi driver

hell no, check my wife!

(we both laugh, I have to laugh. seriously)

me

there is no woman like that in natural state. so what are you fantasying with? this thing that you imagine, it doesn’t exist!

taxi driver

of course it exists.

me

in the movies! but she was not like that all the time. she became that.. like all the other beautiful (making sign with fingers) women that we see in the ads. it’s all an invention.

taxi driver

we are in the matrix and nothing is what it seems..

me

exactly.

taxi driver

Ya, I saw this coming..

me

when you looked at me you said you thought I was a guy, and then you thought I was not. What made you think I was a guy?

taxi driver

…the clothes, the hair

me

Yes. and if I was wearing a dress you wouldn’t think I was a guy

taxi driver

it depends. certainly not if you are hairy with beard

me

but what if I am a woman, and I am still dressing like I am?
(silence)

me

what if I am a guy and I am wearing a dress?
what if I am a woman and if I am having a beard?

taxi driver

it would be obvious.

me

yes, easily recognizable.. like you thought I was a guy 🙂

taxi driver

yes, I see you are gay.. but from the other type.

me

haha, that’s the best thing I heard in the week! (I laugh). but do you see my point?

taxi driver

I see what you are trying to do. you are trying to convince me that femininity is invented.

me

no, no, no.. I’m not trying to do anything. but femininity IS invented: you want to know if I am a guy or a woman to treat me like a lady or not, possibly for picking me up.. (he laughs loudly). the radar needs to check, whether someone is man or woman, and immediately starts to behave. gentlemen pick up ladies.. ladies gets picked up by gentlemen. gentlemen don’t pick up guys, Megan Fox doesn’t exist: femininity is so much invented as heterosexuality it is!

taxi driver

haha, that is also the best thing I heard in the week